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dilemna
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dilemna
Unread postby sdapp » Wed May 07, 2008 12:10 am
Hi all,
I have to share a problem that i'm facing and its a big one.
I've been with my gf for nearly 5 years now. It's going fine, shes a super cute looking woman, really fun, sexy and is ok with my fetish. She occasionally wears for me "because I enjoy it." Our relation is in a bit of a down at the moment, we're both facing some issues in our needs but deep inside, we care and love each other very much. It basically comes down to me, i find that when i invest myself in the relationship, it works. The problem is, for the sex part, i feel that sometimes I get bored of "normal sex" and would like to have more powerful fetish connection. :?
So, my works make me travel around the world. I often leave the house for weeks and get to meet a lot of people. Last september, I met someone in NY (I'm from Canada) and it was nearly love at first sight. We talked again in february and admitted to each other that we had an instant connection. The first night i was in NY with her (in September), we spent the evening talking and then went out. When we came across an American Apparel store, she made a comment that i should be wearing some spandex. It really struck me deep inside.
I then started to be obsessed with that comment as I never really met any woman with a spandex fetish or made such a comment like that. Then when we talked in february, she admitted she has a fetish for spandex, for power rangers and we both have something for "superheroes transformations." We started to talk for hours over AIM and we both were wearing spandex for each other on webcam. Truely heaven.
Then one morning i get a sms saying she broke up with her boyfriend. I was then in europe travelling for my job. I was shocked. She was expecting me to do the same... but i'm stuck, because i'm really attached to my gf and we live together. I feel so lost at taking a decision.
Now we're going to meet in 2 weeks. She expects me to take a decision, i think. I feel like i could live my whole life with her but its hard to judge all this based on a few days we spent together and internet chats.
Any insights anyone would like to share? :?
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby superheroinelinks » Wed May 07, 2008 12:45 am
You have to be honest with your current G/F and open up to her COMPLETELY about your fetish, and the possibility she Could lose you over it to someone else and she must be willing to either embrace it totally or you will never be happy wondering what if ??? And you'll be kicking yourself for the rest of your life.
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby VanMan » Wed May 07, 2008 2:35 pm
I'd have to agree with SHL on this one. Have a frank discussion with your current girlfriend. Let her know of your feelings on your relationship, that you'd like to see about going full-bore into your spandex fetish with her if possible. Don't try to make an ultimatum out of it, though. Just see where she feels about the point in your relationship, whether she would fully accept spandex as an element. If she's not comfortable with that situation, or if you feel she's going through the motions "because you like it," then it might be time to call it off. Maybe use the "It's not you, it's me" thing, and maybe mention you met someone else who shares the same interests as you, and she's eager to be with you.
Of course, this is coming from someone whose relationship experience is only two dates, but I know what mistakes I made in the second one that chased her away.
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby Tronsgirl » Wed May 07, 2008 6:22 pm
I can think of two questions you need to ask yourself:
1. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with your current girlfriend?
2. Is your spandex fetish vital to your relationship with a woman?
Simple questions with difficult answers, but hopefully they'll help you make a decision. Good luck!
~Tronsgirl <3
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby sdapp » Wed May 07, 2008 9:50 pm
Thanks for your insights, i already feel better just to share it with some people who can understand in some way. It's not pretty common to know there's other people interested in spandex. I'd like to comment your thoughts if you don't mind.
1. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with your current girlfriend?
Good one. Not sure. I really feel I could but there's always that part of me who feels my other half might be out there, somewhere. Not sure why i feel like that. Maybe because we don't connect as deeply as I think we could. She's a really great person and the last 5 years have been very good but sometimes I feel there's a lack.
2. Is your spandex fetish vital to your relationship with a woman?
No but I had relationships where it wasn't there and i felt there was something missing and was sort of not fully fulfilled. Ever since I started to have fantasies about spandex, when i was 8, I had in mind that I would be in relationship with a woman that would be into it as much as me. I sometimes have these visions of us spending evenings in spandex having really intense moments and connecting. It's not a necessity but there's a part of me that been kept silent and feels like it could explode because its been kept dormant too long.
You have to be honest with your current G/F and open up to her COMPLETELY about your fetish, and the possibility she Could lose you over it to someone else and she must be willing to either embrace it totally or you will never be happy wondering what if ???
This is something that scares me. Knowing her, I know she will be very upset because we had so many discussions about my fetishes and consulted a therapist too. The only explanation i have found was to explain her that if she had to have sex in spandex all the time, she would eventually have ideas of doing it otherwise; Which is how i feel sometimes. She's cooperative and wears but i dont feels like she's enjoying it. For me, seeing someone really enjoying it is where my pleasure starts, more than what the person looks like.
I explained that to her too comparing of when I buy flowers for her... I often do it because I know she asked for some; the intention is not the same, you know?
Anyhow, I'm not sure yet what to do. I'll meditate on this and your comments are helping. Thanks!
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby jack » Fri May 09, 2008 5:35 pm
take it from my personal experience
don't break a 5 year old relationship because you met someone you actually don't know that much
would you break up if you hadn't met this girl?
on the other hand.. life's too short.. and girls in spandex's too less..
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby sdapp » Sun May 18, 2008 1:28 am
Well there's developments. My gf and I broke up. Our couple wasn't working anymore... She had been frustrated from a few things between us for years and had started to see someone else. We realised that it was a sign that we had to move on.
So now, i'm just curious to meet the other woman. We'll see if it works or not, but there's no pressure. Yesterday she sent me some pictures of herself in a new unitard she bought! no one ever did that for me before and it made me feel good in the sad moments of my break up. We'll see how it goes...
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby VanMan » Sun May 18, 2008 2:40 pm
Well, I guess you have the bad-news/good-news scenario down. Maybe you and your new girl can find some spandexed happiness together. At least you both share the interest in that, so far. Maybe you two can discover more things about each other.
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby eldorado » Sat Aug 21, 2010 10:19 am
would love to get an update on this story and hopefully see a spandex forever after ending :D
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby mikero » Sat Aug 21, 2010 12:09 pm
hehehe now noticed the post is 2 yrs old, so I deleted my response as it serves no purpose
Last edited by mikero on Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby staedtlerman » Sun Aug 22, 2010 7:39 pm
Some excellent advice so far, if I can add some help here.
I think its very tough to ask yourself if you can live with person X for the rest of your life - people change and you change, so its an almost pointless question in my opinion. I've been married for a long time and the one thing that matters most is having someone that accepts you for who you truly are (and of course vice-versa). That simple action almost guarantees that with regular communication, you have a fun, long-lasting relationship. So you need to do a little thinking about the current situation you find yourself in, the grass always looks greener of course - but which of the two girls honestly accepts you for who you are?
It sounds like the New York girl is a bundle of fun!
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby Nina » Mon Aug 23, 2010 9:35 pm
.
Last edited by Nina on Fri Oct 29, 2010 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Tue Aug 24, 2010 5:32 am
GUYS......
If you go back about 4-5 posts, you'll notice this thread is 2+ years old.....a current post was merely asking for an update on this situation.
Elaborating on this thread is like discussing who'll win the presidency: Obama or McCain
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby Nina » Sat Aug 28, 2010 9:30 am
.
Last edited by Nina on Fri Oct 29, 2010 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: dilemna
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Sun Aug 29, 2010 2:42 am
Nina wrote::oops: Oops. Gosh I feel stupid right now.
No....no need to feel foolish, I only noticed it because I read the thread just after the person posted about asking for an update...but beyond that, once someone responds as if it's current, nobody would pick-up on that.
I would like to add something to the theme of this thread. They say it's best to go shopping for groceries just after you've eaten and your stomach is full, it cuts down on impulse purchases and acting on hungry-hormones and what-not.
While spandex is fun, sexy and interesting, it is in part a hormone driven thing and linked in some way to our passionate side. Plenty of us have done some pretty kinky things only to sit there, post-orgasm, and ask ourselves wtf did we just do and swear we'll never embark on that again. While having a mutal interest in spandex may be wonderful, there are many more qualities and aspects to a relationship that span well beyond the confines of a sole interest; fantasy & reality rarely coexist together for any reasonable duration.
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Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
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Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby corso » Fri May 07, 2010 1:31 pm
I just saw an amazing girl cycling wearing spandex cycling shorts. She looked very pro to be, very athletic, she had thick legs and ass but she wasn't fat, she was just built. Around 28-32 years old. I was driving behind her and followed her to a local park she was was cycling. She looked amazing!!!! Too bad I didnt have cam with me.
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby Lycrafan2004 » Sat May 08, 2010 1:53 am
nice description ;) Thank you very much!
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:29 pm
corso wrote:I just saw an amazing girl cycling.... I was driving behind her and followed her to a local park she was was cycling.
And what do they call those guys who put items on shelves at stores??? ;)
You might wanna consider enrolling in your local gym's spin-class...provided you live in a fitness-minded city, it's like eye-candy with veins of social interaction. :D
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby dahuamao » Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:01 am
Too bad
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby blueoval » Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:14 pm
DynamicTorque wrote:
corso wrote:I just saw an amazing girl cycling.... I was driving behind her and followed her to a local park she was was cycling.
And what do they call those guys who put items on shelves at stores??? ;)
You might wanna consider enrolling in your local gym's spin-class...provided you live in a fitness-minded city, it's like eye-candy with veins of social interaction. :D
I totally agree with you there DT. 90% of people in my spin class are girls on their early 20's and VERY fit looking. Spandex everywhere and to tell you the truth, it makes you push that bit harder on your bike when looking at these fabulous views. I love going every week now. :mrgreen:
There is no such thing as 'too tight'.
If anyone has ANY footage of 'aerobics oz style' from the early 90's, let me know..
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby corso » Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:48 pm
blueoval wrote:
DynamicTorque wrote:
corso wrote:I just saw an amazing girl cycling.... I was driving behind her and followed her to a local park she was was cycling.
And what do they call those guys who put items on shelves at stores??? ;)
You might wanna consider enrolling in your local gym's spin-class...provided you live in a fitness-minded city, it's like eye-candy with veins of social interaction. :D
I totally agree with you there DT. 90% of people in my spin class are girls on their early 20's and VERY fit looking. Spandex everywhere and to tell you the truth, it makes you push that bit harder on your bike when looking at these fabulous views. I love going every week now. :mrgreen:
I wouldn't be able to do it! I would have a hard on so it would be embarrassing and I wouldn't be able to work out!
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Wed Jul 28, 2010 2:25 am
corso wrote:I wouldn't be able to do it! I would have a hard on so it would be embarrassing and I wouldn't be able to work out!
Wrong.....
Get yourself a great pair of cycling shorts or a 'bib'....with an 8-panel crotch pad and a skin-tight snug fit, your erection is no match for the restrictive and powerful tension generated by the pad & spandex; you'll still be laid-down, flat and pretty much obsolete in terms of presentation. Also, once you get peddling and your heart-rate goes up, the erection will phase down.
Spin-class...it's what motivates you, and every now and then something spectacular happens; you never know when some gal will walk in wearing something mouth-watering! ...and she may sit in front of you! :D
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby Lycra Clad » Wed Jul 28, 2010 5:58 pm
Out of curiosity, but what's the most you could see from any spandex clad woman in cycling sessions DT?
Did you ever experience the extremity of finding a woman suddenly appearing for spin class in a unitard lol? I mean that would be totally awesome but more far-fetched than reality. :shock:
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:27 am
LC,
Funny you should ask. Just today I was in class and there was spandex all over the darn place....and I'm sitting there thinking how all you guys would consider this an unusual event and to me it's just another day at the gym! But let me answer your question.
First-off, I'm at the gym in the morning during the week (Wed & Fri)....so there are very few men and most the women are in their 40's & 50's. It's my observation that many of these women feel 'past their prime' and they really aren't wearing stuff that reveals much...if they're wearing lycra, it's because it serves a legit purpose in spin class. You have to remember, even at a conservative cadence of some 60rpm, that's over 3,600 revolutions in just one class; you really don't want to be in typical shorts with underwear, especially on a stationary bike...a real bike moves left to right under the rider, but the stationary bike just sits there and can be a major source of chaffing & discomfort.
Okay, what was the question again? :)
Oh yeah, on average most women are wearing some cycling shorts, almost always in the color of black. Everyone starts-off with a shirt and then strip down to varying degrees of less....some go down to the sports bra, others a sporty small top, some remain in t-shirts. The most tragic are the long-sleeved gals, they must get hot...but dollars per donuts those long sleeves are hiding some flabby arms! Women often figure; if you can conceal it, it doesn't exist!
I noticed one younger gal today rolling in some electric blue tights and a snug top...but she also wore glasses and seemed rather clueless to the notion that she was wearing something attractive. I see lots of capri-length tights and even some yoga pants too, it's all as varied as the women.
I have never seen a straight-up leotard, but I have seen one gal wearing a dark red leotard but she kept her shorts on....you could see the outline of the bottom section doing some VPL under her soft shorts...I really wish she's pull those shorts off and dare to bare; that'll never happen.
As for unitards...YES, it happened about one year ago. I was in the 3rd row in my triathlon suit and when the class finished it became apparent that some gal had joined the class...she was in her mid 30's and she was wearing a very bland (cotton?), non-shiny grey unitard...probably something they call a biketard....short legs, sleeveless top (it just covered her breast and straps went over her shoulders). She was all exhausted and it was probably her first time trying spin...she said "OMG, are all these classes so hard?"....and then her eyes met straight at me and we both rather noticed the similarity in our apparel. Her little suit was a bit wet with perspiration and she boogied-out of there really quick...I never saw her again.
And then one day my wife joined me in class and she wore the 2XU women's triathlon suit I got her....something was weird about that. I think my friends & aquaintences in class wondered wtf was up with that.
To tell you the truth, if a women were to wear a shorty unitard (that's what I call a short-legged & open-top unitard) and she sat right next to me...it'd make me a bit uncomfortable because it would make it all the more apparent that I'm wearing something you generally just don't see men in. To date, in 3 years, I've NEVER seen another guy wear a tri-suit, singlet or anything all skin-tight to class...at most guys wear cycling shorts or bibs and then team it with a very snug top...but it's not a true one-piece.
And in a closing note....today in class the two gals to my left had to leave early; sitting in the 2nd row cener from the front, that pretty much left me totally exposed to the whole left side of the class. I felt pretty exposed but I just ran with it. I've been assured by women I know that I totally appear to just be an athlete who is really into what I do and work hard....most people at this point know I'm into running & swimming before & after spin and it's just an appropriate triathlon suit.
I'm telling you guys...I work really hard, diet and workout just so I can pull-off wearing this kind of outfit. I make a lot of sacrifices in my diet and often go to bed feeling quite hungry....but the skin-tight qualities of a body-suit fit is just so demanding that you really need a 9+ body to pull it off; you can't have love-handles, flab and a weak body. I guess the same rule applies to women (if they want to look good).
I've tried to get a few women to join me in the pool or with my triathlon-training program....but they are all terrified of wearing anything so revealing, even the ones in good shape are scared to go in the pool. I have the women's tri-suit for any women who wants to try it, but thus far there are no takers and quite frankly, none of the women are interested in wearing anythign so revealing. Oh well.
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby blueoval » Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:24 pm
DT - again, great experience and I applaud you for your continued efforts on getting the fairer sex to see the light of day with spandex.
The fact that you keep going and arent deterred in what others think give the rest of us confidence to just take a chance and forget everyone else.
With the girl in the grey biketard, I would have thought her thoughts weren't on what you were wearing but more so on how hard the class is for first timers. I have friends who have tried spin once, and bailed out because it was 'too hard' or the seats were uncomfortable. I have mentioned to them that bib knicks or padded knicks are the way to go for any length of time on a bike, but thats where the conversation stops. Its like they choose not to delve any further, or the subject is just too taboo for them to continue. Its a shame to say the least. i wouldnt have thought talking about your comfort would have been a subject of non disclosure. Hell if I'm uncomfortable I will darn well say so and do something about it. lol
Its also good to know that the regulars at the gym that know you are supportive. It's one thing to be a newbie and show up in a men's tri suit revved up and ready to go with no thoughts on what others think. Its another to be a regular member, well known and respected member of the club. What I guess Im saying is, the more you are at the gym wearing what you are wearing, the more people become desensitized to the initial shock of a guy in spandex. It then becomes 'part of who he is' rather than 'that freak in spandex'.
What I tend to do is turn up to the gym with my sweat pants on and just before the class starts, I remove the sweat pants to reveal the spandex. I do this only because the spin room is right down the rear of the building and you must walk past the cardio area and weights area where everyone sees you before getting to the spin room. I don't want to put anyone off or have them look at me for any extended period of time. Its more a self conscious thing. After the class I quickly slip the sweat pants back on before wiping down the bike and leaving. One day I will have the balls to just wear the spandex out in the open. I know its better, but until I get that confidence in my own body to do it, I will bide my time. I just need to lose more pounds, get more strict on my diet and be more regular at the gym and I will be there!!!
There is no such thing as 'too tight'.
If anyone has ANY footage of 'aerobics oz style' from the early 90's, let me know..
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:41 am
Oh dude, we got a whole bunch of stuff t tackle here....
blueoval wrote:DT - again, great experience and I applaud you for your continued efforts on getting the fairer sex to see the light of day with spandex.
The fact that you keep going and arent deterred in what others think give the rest of us confidence to just take a chance and forget everyone else. !!!
I know you didn't mean it like this...but the way you phrase that almost implies that I'm continuing IN SPITE of what people think or may think. And this is something I've often been concerned about: am I that weird guy that is cluelessly making an ass of himself?
I mean, let's face it....every now and then we see freaky people and we roll our eyes and think they're idiots, delusional or even sick in the head. We've all seen those circulating pics of shoppers at Walmart, eh?
For what it's worth, I've spoken with several many people in the spin class and even an instructor or two...they have all sincerely expressed that I do not look out-of-place nor am I dressed inappropriately. Quite the contrary, after more then a year at it, most people are quite aware that I'm also running on the treadmill and swimming laps along with my spinning...being that I'm dong the spin-run-swim routine, it only makes sense that I'd wear an outfit that is conducive to all three modalities. In other words, I have a rock-solid plausible reason to wear what I'm wearing. Is it unique? Yes. Is it little more then a male-designed sporty unitard (complete with zipper, pockets and stylish graphics & design)....YES; but in the gym and under these circumstances...it's acceptable.
But more to the point, and in all reality.....can I "pull it off"...well, after losing a LOT of weight, doing a lot of cycling, swimming and weight-training....the feedback suggest yes.
Today I was at the beach with my family and there was an area where they were surfing. I couldn't help but notice many of the surfers were wearing wetsuits, a distant (but thicker) relative of the unitard. Only one woman and she was in good shape, but more over I noticed how some guys looked like runty sticks and others had noticable flab around their waste; only a hanful of guys had bigger chest, more narrow waist and a shape that worked with a one-piece. I myself am built pretty stocky, but I still have a shape that lets me pull it off. Lots of sweat, caloric deprivation and sacrifice....but honestly, my health and the side-benefit of being able to wear lycra is well worth it!
The bottom line is that there really is no better outfit for me to wear; it keeps me cool when things get hot in class...I can run in it (unlike a cycling bib that is like a diaper) and I can swim in it. It's the perfect all-in-one apparel.
blueoval wrote:With the girl in the grey biketard, I would have thought her thoughts weren't on what you were wearing but more so on how hard the class is for first timers. I have friends who have tried spin once, and bailed out because it was 'too hard' or the seats were uncomfortable. I have mentioned to them that bib knicks or padded knicks are the way to go for any length of time on a bike, but thats where the conversation stops.
Few people either realize or are willing to put-in the time to properly acclimate to the "saddle"....there definitely is a comfort curve! Even with cycling shorts or any piece of apparel, you still have to get your "sit bones" used to the pressure & time. The first time is hard & sore and beyond the soreness it's also a new exercise to your muscles...so yeah, most people encounter an OMG effect....but if you stay with it and give it time, you'll certainly triple your endurance and become immune to saddle-soreness! Oh, another common mistake is to wear too much padding; there is a balance and usually a medium-amount of pad is best. Also, never wear underwear under cycling shorts, they are designed to be worn 'commando'; you only want ONE layer of fabric between you and the seat/saddle.
blueoval wrote:Its also good to know that the regulars at the gym that know you are supportive. It's one thing to be a newbie and show up in a men's tri suit revved up and ready to go with no thoughts on what others think. Its another to be a regular member, well known and respected member of the club. What I guess Im saying is, the more you are at the gym wearing what you are wearing, the more people become desensitized to the initial shock of a guy in spandex. It then becomes 'part of who he is' rather than 'that freak in spandex'. !!!
YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT....
I started-off in the 3rd row....towards the back where it's darker. I kept my shirt on at first and when I did start removing my shirt, it was only after class started and when the lights went from being "on" to the dim lights. Over time I lost more weight, gained confidence and got to know people. At this point I am surrounded by a swarm of women who know me by name and always greet me; how can people perceive me as a freak when I'm one of the most popular (of the few) guys in class? You totally understand what I've done and how I went about doing it.
If the gym closed and I joined another club, I'd never even think to show-up and run the tri-suit on the first day. I also play racquetball at a different location (same club)...and when I take spin at that location, I just wear a bib with with shirt....partially because I play racquetball afterwards and I don't swim, but even if I didn't play racquetball, I'd be too shy to pull the suit with that crowd. I don't know them very well and the room is more lit.
blueoval wrote:What I tend to do is turn up to the gym with my sweat pants on and just before the class starts, I remove the sweat pants to reveal the spandex. I do this only because the spin room is right down the rear of the building and you must walk past the cardio area and weights area where everyone sees you before getting to the spin room. I don't want to put anyone off or have them look at me for any extended period of time. Its more a self conscious thing. After the class I quickly slip the sweat pants back on before wiping down the bike and leaving. One day I will have the balls to just wear the spandex out in the open. I know its better, but until I get that confidence in my own body to do it, I will bide my time. I just need to lose more pounds, get more strict on my diet and be more regular at the gym and I will be there!!!
Yes, yes....the "reveal" word tells me that you take that little breath just before you disrobe and blossom. I go through the similar moment: when it's about 15-minutes in, I'm sweaty and other people are removing their shirts (2nd layers)...I usually time it for when we're headed up out of the saddle or if the darker lights are on.
Okay....you need to move ahead. Go to any sports store (Sports Authority, Sports Chalet, Big 5, etc) and buy yourself some long shirts: Nike, Addidas, UnderArmor, Champion, etc...all these shirts will pretty-well cover your butt and junk.
If you are headed to the gym, walking into the gym, headed to spin class, in spin class, coming from spin class, walking back to the car or headed home: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO WEAR SPANDEX.
I have seen many fat guys wearing their cycling shorts, so I'm more then certain you're ready for it. Let me tell you something that may seem shocking: PEOPLE ARE NOT NEARLY AS INTERESTED IN YOU AS YOU THINK....
Trust me...I'm hardly ever wasting any time looking at other people in spin class, so it's equally wrong for me to assume anyone is looking at me, even in my tri-suit. While you may think you're taking a daring leap of fashion-faith in wearing spandex...I seriously doubt anyone really notices. Now, if you came walking into the gym wearing a wet-look unitard, yeah...someone will push the freak-alert button, but entering the gym in some Cannondale bib-shorts with a long shirt over the top....TOTALLY F-IN NORMAL.
Bad news: we're all getting older and there are a set amount of days left that we can wear spandex and look proper; you are squandering your days! For the love of all things, there is a guy named Jerry who not only comes to class in spandex, he's even a spin-instructor: he's still over 80 pounds overweight.....and he doesn't even wear proper cycling shorts, the f-tard comes-in wearing a swim jammer! I know this because I can recognize gear. What's worse, he used to be extremely heavy and he never got surgery for his loose skin; his moobs swing left to right as he peddles!
You know where I'm headed with this, right? I'm not telling you to get a tri-suit and start fairy-dancing in class....but it's time to just leave the sweats at home and get over issues. 1) You probably can pull it off just fine, especially with a long shirt and 2) Nobody is really looking or caring as much as you think
NO, no, no, no......this isn't the part where you think about it. I've done the thinking for you. You're wasting time putting on & taking-off those sweats, as well as creating more laundry. Time to tighten your bra and hike-up your skirt (poor teasing analogy I realize)....but seriously, you need to move up one tiny step and stop being so self-conscious. Just do it and I damn well better be reading about it pretty soon.
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby blueoval » Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:39 pm
haha, you make me LOL DT, very amusing read, but I can see the semi-seriousness of it and agree with you wholeheartedly.
The one thing I haven't been able to do is talk about this part of my life openly. Not even my other half 'gets it'. She accepts it, but she kind of giggles at the thought of me walking around in tight spandex in public thinking I'm parading around like some kind of pseudo-homo waving my wand for all to see. FAR FROM IT, I tell her. I'm personally not into the fashion sense of wearing spandex, but more so the comfort and going to the gym DOES give me that opportunity to wear it with some what acceptability. As you can tell Im still a bit apprehensive in the way Im wording things. Bare with me, I will eventually get over it.
It also doesn't help when I have male friends who know me well at the gym and have never seen me in spandex either, nor would I expect them to understand or accept it. But then again, they are not doing spin like I am each week. I do have one friend who joins me for spin and while he is happy to wear normal shorts for the session, he does not give me any grief, nor made any comments. I think he has semi accepted that's what I like wearing and feel more comfortable in it. I don't think he feels confident to wear it personally but then again, the subject never comes up so I'm only speculating.
There was one other experience I have to share. It was when I went snorkeling on a reef where there were jelly fish in season. The attire for ALL snorkelers was a full lycra stinger suit over their bathing suits that went from neck to toe. It was probably the ONLY other time I felt like I was 'allowed' to get away with wearing spandex in public as it was strongly recommended by the guide. Not that this experience means anything to the topic of this thread but I thought in the light of the subject of acceptance, I thought Id share.
When you say these things:
If you are headed to the gym, walking into the gym, headed to spin class, in spin class, coming from spin class, walking back to the car or headed home: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO WEAR SPANDEX.
I have seen many fat guys wearing their cycling shorts, so I'm more then certain you're ready for it. Let me tell you something that may seem shocking: PEOPLE ARE NOT NEARLY AS INTERESTED IN YOU AS YOU THINK...
This does make me feel better knowing that you think it's considered far more acceptable and that I should shake off the feeling of dressing for everyone elses comfort rather than my own. In the end, I feel heaps more comfortable in spandex than I do in sweats, thats a fact. I also rather not have the heaviness of cotton or other loose material when I come home from spin, that too is a fact. The last thing I need after a hard session on the bike is to wear more clothes. Im already sweaty, and putting on more layers just doesn't seem logical. Perhaps I may just 'bite the bullet' and walk out without the sweats next time.
Again, I appreciate your insight DT. It's good to know I can openly discuss such a topic with someone who fully understands what I'm going thru.
There is no such thing as 'too tight'.
If anyone has ANY footage of 'aerobics oz style' from the early 90's, let me know..
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:50 am
Urghhh....I wrote a long & detailed response and with a querky stroke of a few keys it all disappeared. Not a website failure, just some weird combination of keystrokes. Now I have to rebuild. The good news is that I'm way too lengthy and perhaps a revised/shortened version is better....
blueoval wrote:The one thing I haven't been able to do is talk about this part of my life openly. Not even my other half 'gets it'.
About two years ago I had noobdy and no forum with which to discuss this subject. Today I have a gal up in Calgary and a buddy from this forum...it's great. At this point I can absolutely say that it's 100% wholesome and even cathartic to discuss, relate and digest this subject. Once you really get to the bottom of things, you realize it's really no biggy. Today I'm very simple about it: I like the comfort, I love the feeling and I enjoy the functionality of spandex. Simple as that. It's just clothing, nothing more. I'm wearing male-intended gear and I'm doing it while exercising; 100% appropriate. End of story.
It used to feel like a closet perversion. Far from it. In a world where people are molesting children, having sex with animals and even choking, vomiting and deficating on eachother....wearing spandex is clearly in the Mary Poppins category, if it even ranks as an oddity. Spandex looks awesome on women and so we rather enjoy, in an associative fashion, borrowing a page from their book of fashion. But hey, it's not like we're wearing some metallic sequin yellow thong leotard...in my book, so long as you're wearing male-intended gear, it's all good.
I had it a bit easier then you....the first time I showed my wife my new cycling shorts, she was with her trainer, and they both sorta dropped their jaws and liked what they saw. That was probably the moment my brain registered that I had some sexually redeeming attractive qualities that I could enjoy. Indeed, some women on the trail and in the gym are big-time men-in-spandex enthusiast and then it hit me: I could take my love for spandex from the closet and play it in quasi-public. It's still a two-part deal: I wear spandex primarily for myself...but I also love the attention it can get and there is an aire of exhibitionist aspects to it....but it's in the same manner as a women who straps-on high heels and stuts along knowing full-well that her uncomfortable and impractical shoes are drawing attention.
blueoval wrote:I'm personally not into the fashion sense of wearing spandex, but more so the comfort and going to the gym DOES give me that opportunity to wear it with some what acceptability.
Absolutely, most my exercise (while good for my health) is largely done just to facilitate the legitimate wearing of spandex. My interest and love for wearing spandex has driven me to lose weight, get in shape and push myself hard...dare I say it's been the key to my motivation!
blueoval wrote:It also doesn't help when I have male friends who know me well at the gym and have never seen me in spandex either, nor would I expect them to understand or accept it. But then again, they are not doing spin like I am each week.
Okay man, I feel where your head is at and we still have some work...
About one year ago I blew-up my knee while playing racquetball, so I had to lay-off for quite a while. During my time-off I was able to swim and gradually do some light spinning (there's a huge difference turning peddles and running around a racquetball court). The racuetball guys saw me wearing a lot of lycra, but they knew I was spinning/swimming. I anticipated wearing lycra when I returned to the courts, so I asked a few guys. One said it would be fine, another suggested it would lead to some teasing. So you know what I do? I take a spin class before racquetball and then show-up to racquetball still wearing my bib-shorts & a shirt. They all know I spin, so it's legit why I'm wearing it.
So here is how it went-down: for a few weeks I got a few comments, but in no time it just became a regular thing, a total regular thing and today nobody even thinks twice about it. Seriously, it's a non-issue. Savvy? :)
Here is what I realized....
It's not what YOU think...
It's not what THEY think...
It's what YOU think THEY are thinking....
As example, you could be wearing something really horrible, but if you truly believe in your mind that you look awesome, then you'll project that into what others are seeing.
That's how it works dude, at least for the most part. You seem to be fairly convinced that your friends will freak-out and people will gawk. I don't think so. Nobody is really going to care. Perhaps a few guys may make a comment or two, but in no time you'll come to realize you were worried about nothing. But I assure you of this: nobody really cares or notices nearly as much as you think and in time it'll just become what you wear.
Let's fall back on the legitimacy of it all....a spin class usually last about an hour and even a slow cadence is 60rpm...that's 3,600 rpm's; do you really want your nutsack exposed to that discomfort? The spandex is really comfortable, very cool and along with compression offers a host of other advantages. End of story.
Perhaps it's just that I'm in L.A. and only newbies and amateurs fail to wear proper cycling shorts. The fact is, any serious cyclist or regular spin attendee will quickly wear real shorts. I'll admit, I've rambled-off the benefits of spandex to a few people to explain and legitimicize (sp?) my wearing them. But seriously, borrow a page from what so many women have told me: "Wear what's comfortable, wear what you like....and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!"
If you took my advice, you're wearing a black bib-short with a long shirt. The shirt covers most of it and the black material, along with the snug fabric & pad pretty much redcuce you down to a Ken-doll....you're on your way to the gym to exercise: you're wearing appropriate gear to or in an appropriate situation. It's a non-issue; end of story!! You are NOT some queer waltzing through the mall wearing a white translucent leotard.
blueoval wrote:I should shake off the feeling of dressing for everyone elses comfort rather than my own. In the end, I feel heaps more comfortable in spandex than I do in sweats, thats a fact. I also rather not have the heaviness of cotton or other loose material when I come home from spin, that too is a fact. The last thing I need after a hard session on the bike is to wear more clothes. Im already sweaty, and putting on more layers just doesn't seem logical. Perhaps I may just 'bite the bullet' and walk out without the sweats next time.
That is exactly my point. Spandex is functional and you're wearing it for a legit reason & purpose. You're wearing it tastefully in an appropriate manner in appropriate situations.
You are not going to wake-up one day and suddenly feel comfortable and ready to go without your sweats. It's like an inoculation, you need to just start doing it and in just a couple weeks it'll be no big deal at all. I really wish your wife was a bit more encouraging or at least dismissive of the issue. I don't see any reason to wear sweats unless it's cold. From the moment I leave my closet and until I get home, I'm in my bib-shorts with my long shirt on...and ya know what, every Monday night after spin/racquetball we go out for dinner and I wear my gear right into Chili's or any other restaurant! Same thing after my gym routines on Wed & Friday. I see a few people check it out, but never any bad feedback, women are big on being discrete...like a baseball team after a game, it's obvious I just finished at the gym. Non issue, no biggy, end of story.
...and ya know what...if someone has an issue with it, let them try to out-run, out-swim, out-bike or out-lift me: I'll f-in destoy them! I wear what I wear because I'm athletic and I worked hard to have a reasonably fit body...I'm not walking around inappropriately and that's just how I roll.
So try this...wear your sweats out of your house....but once in your car, take them off and that's it. I can't believe anyone will much care of notice. A few buddies may make a joke or two, but if they know you do spin, it should die quick. In a couple weeks, it's a done deal. And hopefully some other spandex-shy guy will find inspiration in you and ante-up too! :D
(my other response was better, sorry...this was choppy)
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby blueoval » Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:46 am
Don't worry DT, your response was well and truly adequate. Certainly a very well thought out reply and once again I can see what you are saying.
I too am motivated to spin more knowing I get to wear the spandex. Its been a massive motivator for me, I love it. I get to wear my favorite article of clothing while getting fit. Like you say, I don't go prancing around in a thong leo, strutting my stuff in people's faces, and whatever I do own is male designed and for a pure purpose. So there is no real reason why I should be anxious as I personally am not into exhibitionism.
I think you nailed it on the head though with my friends/colleagues possibly saying something. The embarrassment is what I know Im afraid of if I was questioned. I have often thought about that and have even made up some possible scenarios in my mind should that even happen (which Im sure it will). One thing I don't want to do is lie about it. If I do get asked, I know I will be up front and admit that its for comfort reasons during cycling. Perhaps even encouraging them to join me in a spin class to see how well they fair. I doubt they will join me though. haha.
I hope anyone else that is reading this has some experiences they have to offer.
There is no such thing as 'too tight'.
If anyone has ANY footage of 'aerobics oz style' from the early 90's, let me know..
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Mon Aug 02, 2010 2:01 pm
Well, to elaborate further on that 'friends' issue.....
You have to remember, us guys like to joke around and so it's naturally going to follow that some of your buddies will making jibing remarks. I recall about 8 months ago we were playing doubles (4 people on the court) in racquetball and there was this one shot where Bob leaped-up into the air to try to hit a ball. He got all sideways and it looked like some kind of whacked ballet move...so I said "Hey Bob, that was quite a move, you might want to save that for the gay pride parade" (and of course the other guys chuckled)...so Bob replied with "Wearing that outfit, you have no right making any comments about gay pride". You know what it means? IT MEANS NOTHING...not a thing.
You're going to show-up at a gym wearing a long shirt with your spandex legs showing underneath. Your crotch area will partially be covered and the black fabric and padding will reduce everything to what I call a 'non issue'. You're arriving at a gym to exercise: proper attire, proper activity...simple as that. You'll think people are looking and you may be right: women are candid & discrete observers. As for guys, they largely won't care...and the few that do may be thinking it's high time they feel comfortable following suit.
I guess it's like getting into a lake (unheatd water)...at first it feels quite uncomfortable, but in no time it's all good. Taking advice given to me, the best thing to do is pretend (in your mind) that you're just wearing some baggy shorts and this whole thing is entirely typical....nothing different, nothing special, nothing unique or interesting. I'm in Los Angeles so maybe it's more typical, but out here it's quite common to see guys in cycling attire while their heading to, coming back from, eating lunch just afterwards, running a quick errand to Whole Foods...or out on the road/trail/spin-room.
I know I'm basicaly repeating myself, but I really want to reorient your head in the right direction. Only because YOU know it's slightly fetish-involved (the very term 'fetish' being something I had a hard time coming to terms with) it prompts you to project that other people may suspect you're getting-off on wearing it. It's projection. While spandex is a big part of our lives and mental thought, most people (imagine this) are hardly phased by it.
If it makes you feel better, just have your story ready to go....explain how a fair cadence is about 80rpm and in one hour that's over 4,800 revolutions and wearing regular shorts made you quite sore. Explain how the cycling shorts is incredibly comfortable and there is a very legit reason why cyclist wear them, you can even explain how the stationary bike doesn't move underneath you and it makes the wear & tear even more intense then a regular bike...and how it keeps you cool, comfortable and the compression helps a lot. You have a legitimate reason & need to wear them. Don't preach your story too hard or else, like poker, they may smell something weird....but in all, as I've said before, most people don't care and won't notice. After a few weeks, it'll just be your regular gym clothing and nobody will think twice about it. Promise! :D
Hey, if you want or need to chat further, just drop me a PM and we can exchange emails..perhaps I'll loop you in with my other forum buddy.
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby Lycra Clad » Mon Aug 02, 2010 8:25 pm
DynamicTorque wrote:I know I'm basicaly repeating myself, but I really want to reorient your head in the right direction. Only because YOU know it's slightly fetish-involved (the very term 'fetish' being something I had a hard time coming to terms with) it prompts you to project that other people may suspect you're getting-off on wearing it. It's projection. While spandex is a big part of our lives and mental thought, most people (imagine this) are hardly phased by it.
Agree with this 100%. If others see you dressed in spandex, they won't think you're into it. They'll just think hes wearing spandex cause its more proper for the activity hes doing.
We are always suspecting that people know why are we doing certain things. But thats not true. In the real world hardly anyone knows anything unless it is spoon-fed to him or her.
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby blueoval » Mon Aug 02, 2010 9:34 pm
Thanks DT,
You've helped me see some sense.
;)
There is no such thing as 'too tight'.
If anyone has ANY footage of 'aerobics oz style' from the early 90's, let me know..
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby Lycra Clad » Mon Aug 02, 2010 9:47 pm
At the end of the day, blueoval, what matters is what you like. Don't worry about anyone else, unless you are clearly violating public law that is. :lol:
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby musicman27 » Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:56 am
Hey blue oval I think its weirder to go to the spin class and take your sweats off to reveal spandex. It shows that your not confident! What I do is head to the gym with sweats over and go into the locker rooms and slip my sweats off and I'm wearing running tights and head straight to the treadmill and people know I'm a serious runner cause I rip that machine! . I dont get what the embarressment is about once u get in a gym in spandex. I could see maybe hiding it so your neighbors dont see u in them and taking off the sweats once inside but going to the gym where most people dont know u is much easier! I heard that women are atrracted to a guy with confidence and it sure takes alot to wear our fabric in public! ;) Mike
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johnsonjack87 (Wed Sep 14, 2011 6:51 pm)
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Re: Sporty Girl biking wearing tight spandex cycling shorts
Unread postby DynamicTorque » Tue Aug 03, 2010 1:59 pm
LOL, as if I haven't contributed enough to this thread....
musicman27 wrote:I think its weirder to go to the spin class and take your sweats off to reveal spandex. It shows that your not confident!
You know, I had the same thought. One of my buddies showed-up in spin-class and only moments before he got on the bike did he pull his sweats off and take it down to spandex. Course, he doesn't hit the locker room, he drags his large gym bag all around with him...go figure. But yeah, I've seen other guys wear loose-fitting shorts over their spandex and wait until they are in the gym, just outside the spin-room or in the spin-room itself before reducing down.
I have heard MANY women say they are attracted to confidence. Not to open-up a can of worms, but I've several times noticed women in a relationship with an arrogant or abusive guy just because they buy into his being 'the shit' and in being with him it somehow validates their self worth. No need to delve into that issue....but yeah, my trainer said she loves a guy who is confident enough to wear spandex and that kinky gal I exchange emails with says the same thing.
It's like I always say...when a women straps-on some super-high heels and a sexy dress...she's making a statement: other women will evaluate & compare, guys will check her out and a handful of people will cast her as an attention ho or tramp; when you make a statement and step outside the realm of 'common, average or typical' you open yourself up other people's observation & critique. BUT this all comes back to my former point: are you REALLY stepping outside the envelope? If you were wearing some sequin metallic thong leotard, yes.....but wearing some spandex shorts with a shirt over the top at the gym...sheesh: about as daring as asking the waiter for some Tabasco sauce to go with your sandwich.
Come back and talk to me when you want to start wearing a triathlon suit with a white colored light fabric shirt over the top.
I remember back in the 80's when women would wear their leotard/tights to the gym...you'd occassionally see them gassing-up their cars, grabbing a few groceries and certainly walking from their car to the gym. You're wearing spandex because you're heading to class to spin or going for a bike ride. I walk from the parking lot into the gym in spandex all the time and to be blantantly honest (and coming from a guy who deliberately looks to see if women are checking)...I've never really seen ANYONE look or care....trust me, in their mind they're thinking about their workout, a project at the office, what time they have to pick-up the kids and if they need to run by the bank later in the day.
musicman27 wrote:What I do is head to the gym with sweats over and go into the locker rooms and slip my sweats off and I'm wearing running tights and head straight to the treadmill and people know I'm a serious runner cause I rip that machine!
LOL....you're wasting energy putting-on and taking-off those sweats. Unless it's cold outside why bother? If you are a serious (or even above typical) runner, you probably look athletic and should be wearing the spandex from the moment you leave your home. I'm disappointed MM, I expected more from you! ;)
musicman27 wrote:I dont get what the embarressment is about once u get in a gym in spandex....I heard that women are atrracted to a guy with confidence and it sure takes alot to wear our fabric in public! ;)
It does not take a lot to wear the fabric in public...if by public you mean while riding your bike on streets, in the gym or on your way to or from the gym and maybe even having lunch or running a few quick errands. On the weekends around here, lots of restaurants have patios that are full of cyclist who are either taking a break (and have their bikes) or just got done (and their bikes on on their car rack). The thing is, you look at them and it's obvious they're cyclist...and cyclist wear spandex.
Guys, I just don't get this....I think 'our' interest in spandex prompts us to project a fetish-tone to wearing it. You guys are actually thinking twice and are more wrapped-up in wearing spandex to the gym or in quasi-public because you're quick to figure it's exhibitionist, inappropriate or risque'
This is ridiculous! Remember long ago when we'd occassionally see that gal coming from the gym and she still wearing her spandex? It was like the highlight of our day and several of you still recount the many instances where you saw women in public wearing spandex. We loved those women and appreciated what they did...but hey: did it ever occur to you that women like seeing fit men in spandex too?
OMG, as soon as I started making quick stops at the bank on my way home from riding...or having lunch with buddies after the gym...or even going to my local fish store to buy food: I noticed women discretely checking it out. I've even seen them go out of their way to get a good look. My own trainer just sits there as if I'm a piece of art and checks it out...she's even come into my office and looked at websites with me to select new pieces.
Of all the guys in the world, I would expect YOU GUYS to be on the forefront of giving these women a bit of what they'd like to see! Who else is going to do it? But no, instead of having a bit of fun too many of you are subconsciously wrapped-up in worrying that people will know your inner-most secret...that you have a 'thing' for spandex.
There have been a couple of occassions where I've actually asked a women what she is looking at when I've noticed a gal at the gym, that I know, looking at me. Do you know what she said? She said "Your legs are like tree stumps and I can't believe how well-developed your calves are....". Guys, she looked right past the spandex. Lots of women have a thing for guys legs or even asses: it's not even the spandex they're looking at!!! They look right past it.
The rule remains the same: if a guy is in fit shape, he'll look good in spandex. Not in the mall, not at your parent-teacher conference and certainly not in the work-place (I'm afraid the women will always have these markets cornered)....but on the way to & from the gym, in the gym or involved in ANY sports activity...it's just clothing and nobody will think any different. So stop inner-projecting; there's only so many days, hours and years we have on this planet and our bodies aren't getting any younger. You spandex tools had better get on it and I want to hear/read about some more progress. You're biggest problem will be that you have no stories or anything of interest to report, because you're soon going to realize that everyone else is too wrapped-up in their own lives to notice or care that some stranger has a bit of spandex showing from under his shirt....if you're lucky, a few of you might notice a gal looking in your direction.
I need to get back to work...I'll be checking-in on this thread (maybe we should start another thread so other members can find it).
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johnsonjack87 (Wed Sep 14, 2011 6:52 pm)
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